COYAZO: Hey Wizards, we’re your hosts, Liz…
GARCIA: Anali.
RAVELO: And Alyssa.
COYAZO: And in today’s podcast, we’ll be answering your questions or giving advice.
RAVELO: Okay, so for our first question we have, how can anyone be less possessive when it comes to letting your grip loose on a friendship, allowing for both parties to grow as individuals?
GARCIA: Depending on your relationship with the person, if it’s friend-wise and you guys just stop being friends, then it’s kind of like, you have to, you have to find, don’t find someone new to depend on because you don’t want to always be depending on someone, because you’re going to get to a point where you’re going to have to depend on yourself at some time. So just try surrounding yourself with new people who might make you happier, and hopefully that might like, that might like get them out of your head for a while, like it might, depending on like how your relationship was with them and how it ended, it can still hurt, but I don’t know, just try surrounding yourself with other people.
RAVELO: And you shouldn’t think, oh, it’s been like months already and I’m still not over them. Don’t set a time frame of when you should be over them because it’s going to…
COYAZO: Everything takes time.
RAVELO: Yes, it takes a lot of time.
GARCIA: One thing that I once heard is that like, if you were bit by a snake, well, it depends on like the, it depends on like how things ended, but like, if it ended like in a certain way, like, if you were bit by a snake, would you waste your time, like, would you waste your time trying to go find, go find the snake and like ask them why they did it? Or would you take the time to try to heal yourself a bit?
RAVELO: So our fourth question is, what is school like being at college?
RAVELO: It’s kind of, I mean, it’s easier than I expected, actually.
GARCIA: Maybe for you.
COYAZO: I think it’s just like the people who don’t do their work are struggling.
RAVELO: It really depends on what professor you have.
GARCIA: Calling me out.
COYAZO: That’s true.
RAVELO: Like, I never, like, I always see like, oh, or hear people say, oh, yeah, this professor that, this professor this, you should get this professor. And I’m like, I’m just going to get what I get.
COYAZO: Yeah.
RAVELO: And I’m fortunate enough that I’ve gotten like professors that I’ve actually liked. But I’ve heard that like other people, they’re like, oh, yeah, this professor is really hard on us. All of this.
COYAZO: A little bit. I find it kind of the same.
RAVELO: I mean…
COYAZO: I find college classes actually easier than high school classes.
RAVELO: I mean, I feel like that’s only because we’ve been doing kind of like…
COYAZO: More work here?
RAVELO: No, like music appreciation, PowerPoint, and what was the first one? Jams? Those weren’t really that hard. But once we get into like stuff that we choose, like, oh, let’s…
COYAZO: Calculus?
RAVELO: No. No. Like, let’s say you chose psychology. I feel like that’s going to be a little bit hard. That’s when the work is going to start piling up. And especially, aren’t like the professors a little bit like older? So they’re like- They rely on more- Less tech stuff. So like no Canvas. Or like Google Classroom or like paper tests. So I feel like that’s going to be like a little hard.
GARCIA: One thing that I’ve noticed is that for our high school classes, a lot of our high school teachers tend to be more like hard on us. Since they like… since we’re doing a college class, they like- They have like- Their expectations are kind of high for us. So you have to like be very good at math or something. Mr. Davidson is always yelling at us to- That we’re not in like in grade school anymore.
RAVELO: But also kind of preparing us for college because once we actually have more college classes.
COYAZO: It’s going to be more difficult.
RAVELO: So I think they’re preparing us for that too.
RAVELO: Our ninth question is, what can I do when I’m feeling unmotivated and stressed?
RAVELO: Take a break.
COYAZO: Yeah.
RAVELO: I feel like don’t push yourself to do more than you can. Because that’s what a lot of people do. And you’re just going to get drained. Find time to…
COYAZO: Like do your own thing.
RAVELO: Yeah, do stuff that makes you happy and like energizes you. Instead of pushing yourself, Oh, I need to do this first. I need to do that first. Before I can focus on myself because you should prioritize yourself.
GARCIA: Get a hobby.
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: People have told me many times that… because I feel like, I feel unmotivated often. And I’m trying to find myself a hobby. And I feel like distracting myself from schoolwork first can- It doesn’t… obviously nobody likes schoolwork. But once I get that feeling that I do something that I like, maybe I won’t feel as bad when I do schoolwork. You know?
RAVELO: Mhm.
COYAZO: Just play more video games, I guess. That’s what keeps me more motivated.
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: I like to play with my friends a lot.
RAVELO: Yeah, I think spending time with your friends helps a lot. Or like- When you’re doing something and it’s schoolwork related, And you feel unmotivated or stressed, I think do it with your friends. Because yeah, it’s probably going to take more time, but it’s more fun.
COYAZO: Yeah.
RAVELO: That’s what I’ve done.
COYAZO: It’s going to be more entertaining.
RAVELO: Yeah. It’s a lot. It’s so funny.
RAVELO: Our next question is Kendrick or Drake?
COYAZO: Kendrick.
GARCIA: Kendrick.
RAVELO: So these are two questions in one. We just combined them because they’re basically the same again. I very much struggle with staying focused on schoolwork, please help and how do I stop procrastinating?
COYAZO: Do your work.
RAVELO: Yeah. I think instead of cramming it all in like one, two days, when- because this is what I used to do in the beginning of the year. And I kind of got a little bit lazy this semester but trust I’m getting my grind back up. But once it’s assigned, maybe give yourself like- I assigned certain days where I would do my work before the actual due date. Some of them I would do them on the day of only because I didn’t have time. And yeah, it’s a lot of work. But it’s better than cramming it all in one night and just being scared that you’re not going to be able to submit it on time.
GARCIA: Or even if it’s late, try doing your recent work first. Like, I don’t know. If it’s late, if it’s missing work, try like- don’t leave it to the last minute because once the end of the semester hits, you’re going to have a whole bunch of missing work. And you’re just going to have to be like- You’re going to start like- Not procrastinating, but you’re going to get really stressed,
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: With all the missing assignments that you have.
RAVELO: I think staying focused on schoolwork.
COYAZO: Don’t listen to music. It’s going to distract you.
RAVELO: It depends on what type of music you’re listening to.
COYAZO: I feel like if it’s just instrumental, then that’s fine. But if it has lyrics, you’re just going to get involved with the lyrics.
RAVELO: Yeah. I think make sure that you’re like… there’s nothing on your mind that’s keeping you occupied. Yes, there’s days that are going to be like… oh, I can’t focus on anything. But if you keep burdening yourself and overthinking about little things, you’re not going to be able to do anything. Like, you’re not going to be able to get anything done.
RAVELO: Okay, so for our twelfth question is… how do I get my parents to trust me more? And advice on strict parents.
RAVELO: I have strict parents.
COYAZO: Me too.
GARCIA: If you’re going to hide some stuff from your strict parents, that’s one thing. Getting your parents to trust you more, that’s another thing. But be more specific to strict parents.
RAVELO: Yeah,I think, just in general.
COYAZO: I feel like strict parents, it’s more easier to hide stuff from them.
GARCIA: You get used to it.
COYAZO: The thing is, you can make lies on the spot.
RAVELO: Yeah and I feel like, for me, what I did with my parents, so they could be a little bit loose, is if I ever go out, it’s usually a big group and they know that. Because usually they come with me when I go out and it’s kinda like.
COYAZO: Me too.
RAVELO: But the few times I did go out, I was with friends. And also, make sure- show them that you’re responsible. Do your work, do your chores, all of that.
COYAZO: Stop spending time on the phone.
RAVELO: Yes, I need to listen to that.
COYAZO: I feel like just being more responsible with your stuff.
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: Makes your parents trust you more, you know?
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: Even if you’re kind of young, because I’m the middle child, I still have an older sibling.
RAVELO: Mhm, me too.
COYAZO: They have to take care of me all the time, but I feel like if you show your parents that, oh, I can take care of myself, they’re going to trust you even more.
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: Learn how to cook. Learn how to do everything in the house.
RAVELO: Yeah, I feel like strict parents, they baby you, but not technically.
GARCIA: They’re kind of possessive.
COYAZO:They’re kind of like locking you in the house. It was basically COVID. So I can only go out for school and that’s it.
RAVELO: Yeah.
RAVELO: I mean, my parents aren’t as strict anymore. They let me go out and all of that.
GARCIA: I don’t know, when it comes to dating, it’s more hard.
RAVELO: Yeah. My parents are really strict on that.
GARCIA: Like for me, my mom has always been telling me that even if I have, like, I have a boyfriend. Yes, I have a boyfriend.
RAVELO: Oh, okay flex it.
GARCIA: Since I can’t go out with him, even if friends are there. And I don’t understand why, but then again, I don’t think she’s going to try to make me understand. So you kind of just have to be patient with them. Like, don’t go straight at it. Try arguing your way into it.
COYAZO: Because they’re not going to think that you’re up to something.
GARCIA: Yeah and it probably won’t work. It probably 100% won’t work.
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: So just, like, try to ease into it. Like, ask for small things. I don’t know how to explain it.
Like, okay, if I want to ask my mom to, like, let me go out on a date with my boyfriend, then I would probably, I would, I know she would probably say no, but I would try to get his mom to talk to my mom. To, like, set some boundaries or to, like, I don’t know, try to, like, talk to each other about it, like, see both point of views. You know?
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: I feel like since our parents have always been, like, next to us, beside us, like, even when they complain about, like, telling us, like, oh, you always need Mommy for everything, you always need Daddy for everything.
COYAZO: Like, one day we’re not going to be here.
GARCIA: Yeah, like, it’s, like, it’s kind of all because of you. Like, you’re kind of, like, always pushing us back from living our own lives. And I don’t want to be, I don’t want to end up being 20, and I want to live my life. I don’t want to be asking my mom for things I can’t or can do. Like, that’s sad.
RAVELO: One thing that my parents are kind of strict on is which college I’m choosing. They don’t want me to go out of state or anything. Like, even, because California’s big.
GARCIA: It is.
RAVELO: So, like, oh, if I want to go to San Francisco, I don’t think they’re going to let me. But I feel like I’m really going to fight it.
GARCIA: That’s sad, honestly. It kind of is. They’re just holding you back from…
RAVELO: My full potential.
GARCIA: Yeah, making your own choices.
RAVELO: Oh, I remember what I was going to say. I feel like strict parents expect, or, like, they think too much of the bad things.
COYAZO: Instead of the good things.
RAVELO: Like, they’re always like, oh, like, go have fun.
GARCIA: They overthink a lot.
RAVELO: Yeah, and I feel like they expect that something, yes, there’s a chance that something bad is going to happen, but they always hold onto that percent instead of, oh, she’s going to be fine, especially if it’s, like, a big group. Like, I could be, like, with 11 people and they’ll be like, no, something bad’s going to happen, all you guys are going to get taken down. No. Like, you know what I mean?
COYAZO: Like, I went out with my friends yesterday, on Sunday, but my older brother had to be there to, like, be a supervisor in school because, like, I couldn’t go out alone.
RAVELO: I feel like, I’m going to be honest, sometimes it’s embarrassing.
COYAZO: It is.
RAVELO: Because, like, seeing, especially seeing, like, like, I see people from my old middle school, like, going out all the time, like, just wherever, and I’m just stuck alone. Like, someone that’s younger than me has so much freedom. Like, I’m so thankful for my parents. I love my parents and all of that. But I’m so jealous of other people sometimes with, like, less strict parents. I’m not saying that, oh, they’re too strict, they have to do this, they have to change to that. No, I love them for who they are. But, like, like, I, you know, especially, what, we’re going to be, yes, we’re young. We’re still really young. But we’re coming to the age where, what, three years, we’re going to be adults. We’re going to be working, we’re going to be working maybe this year, next year. We can get our permits this year.
COYAZO: I’m already working. That’s the thing.
RAVELO: Really?
COYAZO: Yeah, and they still don’t trust me.
RAVELO: How do you communicate to your significant other that being babied or called delicate makes you feel patronized?
COYAZO: I feel like giving hints, honestly.
GARCIA: Just be straightforward. Honestly, from what I’ve seen, is that not many people communicate as much anymore because they’re afraid.
RAVELO: But I feel like a lot of people are like, oh, communicate, communicate, communicate. They can’t communicate either.
COYAZO: Yeah.
RAVELO: Like, me too. But, like, I feel like communicating doesn’t just happen, you actually have to work for it. Don’t expect for someone else to communicate if you can’t communicate back.
GARCIA: Yeah, if you’re the one who has a problem, you have to be straightforward about it. If it’s something that you don’t want, tell them. You can’t just go ahead and be like, oh, how do you communicate about this and that?
COYAZO: Just like tell them.
GARCIA: Yeah, be straightforward about it.
COYAZO: Yeah.
GARCIA: You have to have your boundaries in a relationship. So go ahead and tell them. Don’t be rude about it, obviously. Don’t be like, oh, I don’t want you doing this and that. Just tell them, like, I kind of don’t like how you do this or that. And, like, it kind of makes me feel this way. And maybe they won’t understand. And maybe you just have to give them some time.
That’s okay. Don’t try to end things just because of one small thing.
COYAZO: I feel like relationships are for you guys to grow together. So communication will be a really big part.
RAVELO: Like, I feel like if you really want it to work out, try your best. There’s really no right or wrong way to communicate. Because everyone communicates differently. And as long as you try, and as long as they can comprehend what you’re talking about and what you’re trying to express, you guys are good. And if that doesn’t work, try… I don’t…I’m not saying immediately, like, oh, break up. But, like, I say…
COYAZO: Like, try to work it out?
RAVELO: Yeah, try to work it out first.
GARCIA: If you want to be with them, put in the effort.
RAVELO: Yeah, and if they’re not willing to do the same, then…
GARCIA: Get them out of your life.
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: They’re not worth it.
RAVELO: Yeah. Okay.
RAVELO: Okay, so for our 14th question is self-love, love, and self-worth.
RAVELO: Fake it till you make it. That’s what I did. It really works. I feel like stop thinking that you’re less of a person than you are. Because, yeah, you’re… everyone, like… I’ve never seen anyone that are, like, exactly the same.
COYAZO: Everyone’s unique.
RAVELO: Yeah, everyone’s so different from one another. And that’s, like, so cool. Like, that’s so cool. Like…
GARCIA: Like, you’re Filipino.
RAVELO: Like, I look around, and I have friends. And it’s, like, the way everyone can just connect, even with how different they are, find similarities. And, like, every… Yeah, like, stop thinking that you’re less of a person than you are. Because if you keep having that mindset, it’s just going to bring you lower and lower. I used to do that. But then once I realized, like, this isn’t good for me. This isn’t going to help me. And, like…
GARCIA: People have those thoughts?
RAVELO: What?
GARCIA: Because you just, like, you just said, like, oh, I think to myself I, like, thought to myself that this isn’t good for me.
RAVELO: Yeah.
GARCIA: People have those thoughts?
RAVELO: Yeah, I feel like it was getting so bad that I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. And I heard, like… I always hear people, fake it till you make it. And that’s what I did. And it worked. If it doesn’t, try finding other things. Honestly, validation works.
GARCIA: One thing that I like to do is, like, buying stuff for me, like, from time to time. Like, maybe, like, once… buying something small every month. Don’t go and, like, spend all your money and go on a shopping spree or anything. But, like, buying yourself something could be nice. And, like, especially since you know what you like, and you’re buying something that you like, it makes you feel happy, you know?
COYAZO: I feel like don’t try to, like, compare yourself to others.
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: That’s just going to bring you down.
RAVELO: Like, especially if someone else or parents compare you with other people, that shouldn’t matter to you.
COYAZO: Because, like, everyone’s different. You’re not going to be just like someone. Someone’s not going to be just like you. There’s always going to be differences.
RAVELO: Self-love, I feel like nit picking yourself, no. I feel like just looking at the mirror and, like, picking out your insecurities, something that most people don’t even notice, it’s, like, no.
GARCIA: Stay away from mirrors, mirrors are evil.
RAVELO: Yeah, like, if you’re feeling yourself, okay, look in the mirror.
GARCIA: Be like,oh, yes.
RAVELO: Oh, I yes.
GARCIA: I look so good.
RAVELO: Like, there’s obviously going to be times where you feel like, oh, I’m so unlovable.
I don’t like myself. But you can’t keep having that mindset. Same thing with self-worth, you know? I feel like, okay, with love, love just…
COYAZO: It just happens.
RAVELO: Yeah, like, randomly. You can’t keep searching for it all the time.
COYAZO: You can’t, like, force it.
RAVELO: Yeah, forcing it just feels… Yeah, it feels forced.
COYAZO: Yeah.
RAVELO: It doesn’t feel real.
GARCIA: Be patient.
RAVELO: Yeah.
COYAZO: I feel like love comes to you.
RAVELO: Yeah, when you’re ready and when you’re mature enough, you’re responsible enough and you think you can take one, put yourself out there. But don’t actively try searching for one because then you’re going to be disappointed every single time if you don’t get into a relationship.
GARCIA: What you should think about is, like, think about your friends. Like, I don’t think you would… I don’t… Oh, my gosh. How do I say this? I don’t think… I think if you didn’t have any friends, that would be one thing. But as long as you have friends surrounded by you, you know that you matter to them, that they like hanging out with you. Like, you’re not unlovable because your friends, the people around you love you because of you, you know? They’re friends with you for a reason.
RAVELO: Thank you guys for tuning into today’s podcast, we hope you enjoyed it.
